Do you ever feel like you are tired of having to explain yourself or stand up for your emotions? Do you find yourself in social situations just feeling out of place, like no one could possibly understand how your mind works ? Have you ever had to defend what you’re doing in your line of work or your passions?
You are not and have never been alone. At some point there has to be a moment where you accept your light and don’t feel the need to explain it to anyone who isn’t open to receiving it. That is a gift we have to give ourselves. All you have inside of your special projection is exactly that, a special and unique projection. It’s not meant to mirror or be like anyone elses, despite how comfortable that feels for you and for others.
Why am I writing about this? Well for one, I am going to write more. As my social networks grow I notice each platform attempting to cash in on that success by forcing me to promote my content. I view that as a form of corporate bullying so I’ve vowed to try to just sprinkle my magic wherever it’s going to be received openly and if writing what’s in my heart is that I’m going to do that.
Someone came to me recently upset about being bullied in their life. I had these flash backs of being a small child in our old townhouse neighborhood. Sitting on the bathroom floor while my father dug gum and suckers out of my hair with ice and peanut butter. Truthfully I was teased endlessly by neighborhood children. They called me “goofy” and it was the hood nickname for me whenever I walked by. “Oh here comes goofy!” Then began the small tortures. I never really complained, I just accepted it and came sulking in with shit in my hair from these rude little rapscallions. Sitting there on that bathroom floor my dad would quip me out on all of the things I was supposed to say to come back to these kids. There was one line that he would remind me of through adult hood when coworkers would get to me, or even family.
“I’m very sorry, but you must have mistaken me for someone who has to put up with your crap.”
I smile now when I think of it, I don’t often repeat it but it’s a mantra for sure. It might not be sweetest sounding of phrases but when you remind yourself that whoever is projecting awfulness onto you, just for being yourself is coming from a place of misunderstanding and really misalignment. You can refresh yourself knowing that you are not obligated to agree or engage. You’re not obligated to explain or anything either. I never fought those kids back, and actually was relieved when we moved away but that obviously has it’s own host of challenges. That’s not to say I haven’t fought back in my life, or am saying you never should. I am saying however, that at a certain point the need to engage becomes less and less.
We make an agreement to allow ourselves to be pushed around even from a young age. We are so open to receiving and pleasing sometimes that it makes us targets – additionally sometimes we are so closed that we are targeting without knowing it. I don’t blame those kids, I know they had a lot of pain too.
I was weird, I was different. I had trouble communicating from some hearing issues I had and have always been highly sensitive. That means I am interested in a lot of things that others are missing and bringing those things to the surface all the time. It seems strange and out of place, often. In my adult life this “weird” outsider cloak remains. I have done my best in my life to embrace this and show others joy from this place of mine. That feels like a duty to me to communicate through this lens I’ve been given. The beautiful part about this is that anyone can do this and has the lens too.
The next time you feel like being different is the wrong thing because someone has something to say about your path, remember the words of my father digging candy from my locks – You are NOT obligated to put up with the negativity of others about your journey. Simply find your graces, and exit. Make the agreement that you are more important to yourself. It’s OK. Yes, it is!
All the love and ass kicking –