What tones are you loving this season?

COVER ART/ Listen/

My mind is running a little wild with something.

Over the last few years I’ve noticed this little insidious thing on social media. There is a lack of willingness to foster authentic relationships. We are full of short cuts & tear downs. No one is here to make sure anyone else makes the climb, and no one is here to make sure others don’t. What I mean by that is the “digital bullying” has to end and the digital soap boxing is tired.

No one is more deserving of ANYTHING than anyone else, if you are working hard on your own path.

I have made a few foes along the way in this business. Most of them have come from quite literally me being assertive or up front. The receiving end decided that because of that, I am not worthy anymore. That is TOTALLY ok. What is not OK, is ganging up on me. It is not ok to be working behind closed doors to actively tear me or other people down. This is happening so much it’s sickening. I see it all over facebook, instagram and also emerging platforms.

You know what I am talking about! The screen grabs, the gossip, the “please don’t like this person because they did XYZ to me”. Everyone has their own truth. Honor that truth. I can be a villain to you if that is your truth, and you can be one to me too. That is OUR business. People have done terrible things to me on the way. I’ve wanted to put them on blast so many times. Oh the dirty bloggers who solicited free stuff never to deliver the promised promotions, or the bitch cliques that just don’t like me because of whatever reason and won’t even sniff in my direction. OK fair enough, we don’t vibe I guess but are we so caught up in relationship shortcuts that we can’t talk things out? – That we don’t give people first chances let alone second ones?  – That any expression of anything but positivity or even pseudo positivity is a confrontation we can’t handle anymore? Subsequently the tidal wave response of shunning occur. This is bullshit. I’m sorry, I have to call it out.

Learn to have a two way conversation with people. I can’t tell you how many times I have not been worth that in the last year. True colors are a blessing in disguise but at the end of the day, sometimes it can turn into bullying, exclusions and ganging up. Let people discover each other without your interference. Thank You.

A client and acquaintance wrote me a letter that they didn’t want to associate with me because of something another person in the business arena said about me. Gee that seems fair? I didn’t even defend myself. I had bought this person’s art, I supported and cherished the digital connection I thought we had. I was genuine in fostering it. Who’s right is it to impune on my relationships, and even business because of a situation they had with me? Frankly and truthfully, a situation that actually had me on the end of the back stabbery but like many times in my life if you’re not even given a chance, it’s just not worth the argument. IfI was approached in a way that allowed me a chance to speak my truth, bridges could be built and this has been sitting on my heart. Ultimately, I have thousands of happy customers to put my faith on for the moment to sail me through the insecurity this causes me, naturally. This was also the second incident in the same month involving a customer who seemed to have expectations of me and a relationship I really didn’t fully grip. Could we not project so much onto internet friends?

I’m not going to be awesome to everyone, not everyone is awesome to me.

There are also some issues I have with just trolling for inspirations, rips, cherry picking customers to the point of following my family members to do so, none of this is good karma, and all of this will put you on the outs with me, personally.

We all have a right to lay out our boundaries and be respected. If you’re not respected as a pattern, you drop the axe. It took me SO long to realize it was OK to do that. To those people, I might be a villain and that is their truth. I honor that truth. Infecting others with your truth is kind of like mind washing. It’s unfair and it creates unspoken wars. I see this happening all the time among my personal peers, business peers and just from a distance – especially online.

This is getting us no where as a society. It’s not your responsibility to tear anyone down even if they have hurt you. Your responsibility is to nurture your highest purpose and perhaps even others’.

It’s also time to stop being afraid of our confrontations and learn to use a little more tact. Myself totally included!  Speak up when you need to and pipe down when it’s time.  If it’s not helpful, why go there? How about the just plain out of no where rude or hurtful comments from trolling scrollers? Why is this part of the fabric of digital bullying now too? Slow snipes ad up. Just don’t be that jerk.

I also want to mention, as a business owner it’s illegal to slander someone causing them to lose business to a potential customer. In writing, the proof of such is actionable. Does anyone need anymore reasons to put their words in a box before offering them? (@thisthatandthese taught me that trick!)

Here’s to better relationships, truest colors and brightest intentions, there is no dry run for this. We are living this now – every day is a chance to make advances and set better intentions.